Some of you may remember when Vista came out I felt compelled to add my 2 cents regarding a review I’d read touting how terrific Vista was going to be (Feb. 5, 2007). Well here comes Windows 7 (can Microsoft PLEASE settle on a versioning scheme? Do we need to go from straight numbers: 1, 3.1 to years: 98, 2000 to codes: XP, Vista back again to numbers?! Really Microsoft?) and once again I’ve just read my first review and it touts the following – red text denotes my keen insights: ;)

A taskbar that allows you to stick icons of your fave apps to launch them quickly, “combining the best features of the old Windows taskbar and Apple’s Dock”.
Really? “launch them quickly”? Launch them quickly. Launch them quickly… waaaait a minute! You mean like the Quick Launch portion of the existing taskbar?? Does the reviewer not know this feature has existed for quite some time, or is Microsoft trying to sell this as new to Windows 7?

File folders can now be organized into “libraries.” You can have a photo library, for instance, that gives you quick access to pictures in folders spread out over your hard drive, or even several hard drives.
I’m sorry, you mean like creating a folder on your desktop and then in that folder adding shortcuts to the folders…. spread… out… over… your… hard… drive(s)…. oh right. Yeahhhhh, ummmm… forgot that you could already do that.

Like Vista, Windows 7 will ask you twice if you really want to make changes to your settings or install programs, for the sake of security. But Windows 7 does it less often, and the prompts can be turned off.
Are we seriously this desperate to find good things to say about Windows 7? “We’ll still bug the shit out of you asking ‘Are you sure? Yeah but are you really sure?’ but we’ll do it slightly less often!”

Windows 7 has implemented more touch screen-like functionality.
Great for those of you who have touch screens or touch pads! The other 95% of us don’t give a rat’s ass.

And of course, the usual litany of “if you (can) upgrade we’ll make it as painful as possible AND break as much as we can”:

  • Windows 7 is 64-bit, so some of your hardware drivers may no longer work. Kiss your old workhorse printer goodbye.

  • Upgrading from XP involves reinstalling every single app you HAD installed and “find[ing your] files in the folder where Windows 7 tucks them away”. Not much incentive to upgrade, now is there? I don’t intend on spending a few days reinstalling the gargantuan number of apps I currently have installed. I dread the task when I purchase a new PC or have to replace a hard drive, I’m certainly not going to willingly do it for virtually NO gain.

New features? Not so much. More like Microsoft holding the hand of the less technically savvy of us and trumpeting it as a good reason to drop a wad of cash – $120 to upgrade. And as usual error messages are obscure and troubleshooting from the website provided no answer to the problem (at least in one reviewer’s experience). And oh yeah, the reviewer noted an increase in boot time. His suggestion? Don’t power down, just start using sleep mode. WTF? I’ve run out of band-aids.