Daughter (in gruff voice): I’m a remote control!

Me, puzzled: oooooookkkk…

Daughter (same gruff voice): and I’m grumpy! I’m a grumpy remote control!

Me, scratching head: oooooookkkk…

Daughter (gruffer still): and you can’t cross my bridge!!

Me: oooo -oh wait! hahaha you mean you’re a grumpy *troll*!! hahahaha

Daughter: yeah! And you can’t go *under* my bridge either!

The TSA – those wonderful people who only seem to produce narrow-visioned responses to terrorist threats – bring us yet another set of rules to fly by. This time their sole focus is on preventing bombings during approach and/or landing. Don’t you just love how they only seek to prevent the exact thing that’s been most recently attempted? Remember, these are the same folks who now force us to take off our shoes because some bozo attempted a shoe bomb. Thank god it wasn’t in his underwear.

In their infinite (*cough* knee-jerk) wisdom they’ve decided to “let pilots and airlines determine whether in-flight entertainment systems that show a plane’s location should be turned off to avoid a security risk” because as we all know, terrorists are too stupid to look out the window. Next they’ll stop announcing that they’re starting their initial descent and offering estimates of how soon the plane will be landing. And if that doesn’t work, they can always glue the window shades down, you know, in an attempt to avoid a security risk.

Since there’s no way to stop someone from hearing the landing gear going down or looking out the window, or using their watch for that matter to estimate location, perhaps the TSA should implement mandatory anesthesia.

Some of you may remember when Vista came out I felt compelled to add my 2 cents regarding a review I’d read touting how terrific Vista was going to be (Feb. 5, 2007). Well here comes Windows 7 (can Microsoft PLEASE settle on a versioning scheme? Do we need to go from straight numbers: 1, 3.1 to years: 98, 2000 to codes: XP, Vista back again to numbers?! Really Microsoft?) and once again I’ve just read my first review and it touts the following – red text denotes my keen insights: ;)

A taskbar that allows you to stick icons of your fave apps to launch them quickly, “combining the best features of the old Windows taskbar and Apple’s Dock”.
Really? “launch them quickly”? Launch them quickly. Launch them quickly… waaaait a minute! You mean like the Quick Launch portion of the existing taskbar?? Does the reviewer not know this feature has existed for quite some time, or is Microsoft trying to sell this as new to Windows 7?

File folders can now be organized into “libraries.” You can have a photo library, for instance, that gives you quick access to pictures in folders spread out over your hard drive, or even several hard drives.
I’m sorry, you mean like creating a folder on your desktop and then in that folder adding shortcuts to the folders…. spread… out… over… your… hard… drive(s)…. oh right. Yeahhhhh, ummmm… forgot that you could already do that.

Like Vista, Windows 7 will ask you twice if you really want to make changes to your settings or install programs, for the sake of security. But Windows 7 does it less often, and the prompts can be turned off.
Are we seriously this desperate to find good things to say about Windows 7? “We’ll still bug the shit out of you asking ‘Are you sure? Yeah but are you really sure?’ but we’ll do it slightly less often!”

Windows 7 has implemented more touch screen-like functionality.
Great for those of you who have touch screens or touch pads! The other 95% of us don’t give a rat’s ass.

And of course, the usual litany of “if you (can) upgrade we’ll make it as painful as possible AND break as much as we can”:

  • Windows 7 is 64-bit, so some of your hardware drivers may no longer work. Kiss your old workhorse printer goodbye.
  • Upgrading from XP involves reinstalling every single app you HAD installed and “find[ing your] files in the folder where Windows 7 tucks them away”. Not much incentive to upgrade, now is there? I don’t intend on spending a few days reinstalling the gargantuan number of apps I currently have installed. I dread the task when I purchase a new PC or have to replace a hard drive, I’m certainly not going to willingly do it for virtually NO gain.

New features? Not so much. More like Microsoft holding the hand of the less technically savvy of us and trumpeting it as a good reason to drop a wad of cash – $120 to upgrade. And as usual error messages are obscure and troubleshooting from the website provided no answer to the problem (at least in one reviewer’s experience). And oh yeah, the reviewer noted an increase in boot time. His suggestion? Don’t power down, just start using sleep mode. WTF? I’ve run out of band-aids.

Just like a girl. I tell my 3-year-old daughter to grab a toy to keep herself entertained at the store we’re going to. As we’re putting on our shoes she comes racing back from the playroom with her makeup compact.

Apparently around 10 or 10:30am there was a call put out for all seniors to get in their cars and head for the highways. I ran an errand this morning and on the way home got stuck repeatedly behind some bad driver doing anywhere from 5-15mph under the speed limit. While 5mph might not seem like much, realize that it’s mid-morning, the freeway is clear of heavy traffic, and most motorists are doing 5-10mph over the speed limit.

When I finally managed to catch a break and was able to cut over into the next lane to pass (waiting rather impatiently while the rest of traffic blew past me doing 70+) inevitably it was an elderly driver I glared at. This includes the lady who refused to accelerate past 40mph all the way up the freeway on-ramp; despite the fact that the on-ramp was completely straight and went for at least 150 meters. She’s still doing 40 for all I know, as when I finally swerved over a lane and joined traffic doing 65 she was still doing 40.

Below are 2 paragraphs taken straight from the Wall Street Journal’s opinion pages. What bothers me most is not the politics of the matter. I’m more than willing to leave them completely out of the rant. But what I’ve noticed as I’ve matured (and hopefully become wiser) is that most reporting, whether it be done in a newspaper or a magazine, a well-respected publication or a rag, leaves out information or makes misleading statements in order to get your dander up in support of their arguments (see this other rant).

This opinion article lists a series of tax credits Mr. Obama proposes. These credits include college tuition, child-care, clean car, mortgage interest, etc. First we talk about the middle-class, then we throw out the tantalizing statement that “…more than a third of all Americans already pay no income taxes at all.” Then we read the following:

“Here’s the political catch. All but the clean car credit would be “refundable,” which is Washington-speak for the fact that you can receive these checks even if you have no income-tax liability. In other words, they are an income transfer — a federal check — from taxpayers to nontaxpayers. Once upon a time we called this “welfare,” or in George McGovern’s 1972 campaign a ‘Demogrant.’ Mr. Obama’s genius is to call it a tax cut.

The Tax Foundation estimates that under the Obama plan 63 million Americans, or 44% of all tax filers, would have no income tax liability and most of those would get a check from the IRS each year. The Heritage Foundation’s Center for Data Analysis estimates that by 2011, under the Obama plan, an additional 10 million filers would pay zero taxes while cashing checks from the IRS.”

Now again, leaving the political arguments out of it – yes some of it could be considered welfare, but that aside, what’s wrong with providing middle-income families with tuition or child-care tax “credits”? Anywho, here’s what I find really misleading… let’s break it down:

“…you can receive these checks even if you have no income-tax liability. In other words, they are an income transfer — a federal check — from taxpayers to nontaxpayers.”
After opening salvos (a couple of paragraphs) revving you up to think about the poor… welfare… “demogrants”, this statement immediately gets your dander up thinking people are getting a free ride. Why those no-good nontaxpayers! 1972… welfare… whyyyy I oughta! Whaddya think you’re doin’ there Mr. Obama? You can’t fool ME calling these “tax credits”!

“The Tax Foundation estimates that under the Obama plan 63 million Americans, or 44% of all tax filers, would have no income tax liability and most of those would get a check from the IRS each year.”
44%? FORTY-FOUR PERCENT?!! Most not paying taxes but getting a check back anyway?! THE OUTRAGE! But… wait… didn’t… aren’t… waaaaait just a minute! Something’s not right here… back the truck up.

You got me thinking about low-income folks and those who “…already pay no income taxes at all”, then said “no income-tax liability” and threw in the word “welfare” just to make sure I was thinking about those folks, so maybe I wouldn’t question what you meant by “no income-tax liability”. And in my outrage I missed that you said 44% of all tax filers. We’re no longer talking about just low-income folks, are we? Youuuu! Youuuuu! You had me going there for a minute. What you’re REALLY saying is that anyone who doesn’t have to file due to a low enough income (which doesn’t just mean the poor!) and anyone due a tax refund! I’ve got news for you buddy: “nontaxpayer” and “no income-tax liability” are NOT interchangeable terms!

So which is it? Are we talking nontaxpayers or people who don’t owe and/or have overpayed (no income-tax liability)? Talk about a “clever pitch”. Talk about an “illusion”.

1 drink
Anytime she refers to Alaska.
Anytime she says the word “Maverick”.
Anytime she talks about energy policy.
“Drill Baby, Drill”… Drink baby, drink.

2 drinks
Anytime she says the word “Mavericks” when referring to herself and John McCain.

3 drinks
Anytime she responds to a question but completely sidesteps answering it.

—————————————————————————————————————————

Anytime she suggests she has foreign policy experience simply due to Alaska’s geographic proximity to Russia and Canada.
Finish your drink. Get another. Finish it too. Repeat until blotto and maybe she’ll start making sense.

As a colleague put it… “wow”:

Palin on Foreign Policy

I have some Canadian pennies in my pocket… and hey! my neighbors are expat Brits… and they sometimes walk down the street, and in order to do that, where do they walk? Right past my house – so I must have foreign policy experience!!

Consider me a write-in!

In a perfect example of “Be careful what you wish for” BART, who repeatedly raises fares due to their complaint of low ridership, has seen a surge, apparently to record highs. The local paper states “high gas prices, traffic jams and concerns about the environment have driven commuters to BART stations in record numbers”, which is basically another way of saying “duhhh“. For a system which can’t handle its current ridership gracefully, BART’s wish is a knuckle-headed one.

On the heels of this influx, BART has decided to investigate raising fares yet again; considering a fare hike against those who use BART during commute hours. Showing that the intelligence of the common man (woman in this case) trumps that of those running BART, rider Cathy Torres suggested lowering prices during non-commute hours rather than raising them for peak commute, as anyone with children or any basic common sense would be able to tell you as Torres states, “incentives are far more likely to succeed than penalties”.

To be fair BART has made several attempts to clean up its act however its list of woes is as long as Svetlana Pankratova’s legs (now how’s that for a pop-culture reference?!)

Fellow riders, if you thought BART had problems before, in the immortal words of Al Jolson, “you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!”

A light earthquake occurred at 9:00:15 PM (PDT) on Friday, September 5, 2008.
The magnitude 4.0 event occurred 3 km (2 miles) ENE of Alamo, CA.
The hypocentral depth is 16 km (10 miles).

This one made the house shake for several long seconds.

I didn’t think the bearded lady existed outside the old time circus/carny shows, and then only for the shock- errrrr… “entertainment” value they provided. Maybe that’s what this person was going for. Yesterday, riding home on BART, I saw my very first, real-life bearded lady. Mind you it wasn’t a full-on beard or anything, but she definitely had a thin mustache and a very hairy chin… goatee-style. Oh yeah, and the sideburns were a little out of control too.

I couldn’t help wondering if this were actually just a very effeminate man, I mean, this person was wearing a blouse, horn-rimmed glasses, hair up in twin “buns” at the back of her head, and fingernail polish, but that still wasn’t proof enough. The clincher, however, was when they off-boarded in Oakland and the breasts made it obvious this was a woman.

This morning I was crossing the street in a crosswalk. The road is a 4-way intersection, but drivers approaching it can turn right via their own lane which is just a yield, not a full stop. Too many times I’ve seen drivers craning their necks looking sideways/backwards as they drive through the crosswalk and attempt to see if anyone’s coming from the left that they’d have to yield to, ignoring the fact that pedestrians are coming from their right.

You can see what’s coming, can’t you? I was crossing and this older man (not an “old” man, looked like he was in his 60′s) hit me.

It’s amazing how quickly the brain computes. In the space of what was probably less than a second I saw him out of the corner of my eye, judged that he was driving way too fast (he must’ve been going at least 25 or 30) and he was way too close to be able to stop in time, and can distinctly remember thinking “if he hits me and I just stand here and take it he could either send me flying or knock me down and I could potentially end up under his car”

So I jumped. I cleared his bumper and ended up on my side on his hood. Left a nice dent I might add.

I’m fine, I wasn’t hurt then and seriously doubt I’ll “feel it tomorrow”.

And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think…

An AP article posted today entitled Trains, bloggers are threats in drill, AP writer Ted Bridis reports that the U.S. government engaged in its “biggest-ever ‘Cyber Storm’ war game, according to hundreds of pages of heavily censored files obtained by The Associated Press”. It’s a “laundry list of fictional catastrophes” the players must attempt to defend against or overcome, including such events as “Washington’s Metro trains shut down. Seaport computers in New York go dark. Bloggers reveal locations of railcars with hazardous materials. Airport control towers are disrupted in Philadelphia and Chicago. Overseas, a mysterious liquid is found on London’s subway”.

Apparently however there was a bit of a mystery. It seems that during the games, some of the participants, which included “government officials from the United States, England, Canada, Australia and New Zealand and executives from leading technology and transportation companies”, quietly attacked the very computers being used for the game.

Now get this…
“Perplexed organizers traced the incident to overzealous players and sent everyone an urgent e-mail marked “IMPORTANT!” reminding them not to probe or attack the game computers.”

Excuse me, but isn’t that exactly what we’d want these people to be doing? Isn’t hunting down an attacking computer’s origin and shutting it down or counter-attacking it a valid tactic?? To me that’s thinking outside the box and they should be applauded for an original approach. Instead of reacting and running around trying to coordinate emergency services and other responses, they took it upon themselves to stop the very attack itself. Or at least let the game planners know they were “there” and could have shut down the attack. Of course, someone launching such an attack probably wouldn’t be as vulnerable as these people allowed themselves to be.

George Foresman, a former senior Homeland Security official who oversaw Cyber Storm is quoted as saying “Whether its intent was embarrassment or a prank, we had to temper the enthusiasm of the players.” Why? Because someone showed you up? Here you have an infrastructure set up to serve up these scenarios and you can’t even protect yourself from one of the very threats you’re emulating? A little too ironic.. and yeah I really do think.

Shame on you. I hope you’re suitably embarrassed.

The holiday season is at an end, and with it my hopes for finding BART parking.

My wife got me this tape I’d asked for, for Hanukkah… it’s called X-treme Tape and boy is it extreme!

To give you an idea: it’s permanent, self-bonding, air and water tight, prevents corrosion, withstands UV rays, acids, and fuels, it won’t melt up to 500°F, remains flexible down to -60°F, has a tensile strength of 600 psi, and a dielectric strength of 400 volts per mil.

Now, if that’s not enough for ya, the included instructions give suggested uses:

“emergency radiator hose repair… extension cord connections… garden hose repair… insulation for radioactive areas… ends of rope… air duct joi-”

whoah whoah whoah! wait a minute, back up there. WHAT?

“ends of rope”

No, no, before that!

“insulation for radioactive areas…”

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